I'm living on the edge of a broken heart.

Hi, you. You as in person reading this. :) I'm so bored, so I'm just gonna write what I feel like. Cause usually when I blog, I always feel the need to write everything in order, and requires a lot of thinking. Lol. And I'm too lazy for that. So, I'm gonna write whatever comes across my mind, which is the movie, The Notebook. Let me tell you, I am in LOVE. This is an incredible movie. Almost as incredible as Titanic. Basically, I think the movie is quite similar. You got, Noah from The Notebook, and Jack from Titanic, who's the poor guys going after a rich, upper class girl. And, the young girls mothers aren't letting them see the guys. And the setting is in the early 1900s. AND, towards the end, death gets involved with the characters. But, oh well. Both are incredible, so I'm not complaining. :) But, I do have to say, although I love Titanic, and it's my all time favorite movie, The Notebook had me bawling my eyes out. And, of course, I cried to Titanic too, but omg. The Notebook affected me a lot more, cause it was about teenage romance-ish? Haha. But, that definitely, made me think about myself. I mean, the thought of a summer romance, and falling deeply in love at a young age, really makes me sad, cause I don't have that. And, probably one in every three girls at my school is in a relationship. I feel almost left out, cause, here I am, blogging (which like, barely anybody my age does) and I don't have anything else to do in my life. Except, go to school, come home, go online, sleep, eat, etc. All the same routines over and over. I need something new. I need to find a guy, so I can share these things with. I mean, I have all my close girlfriends, but I've literally been around girls all my life, and I need a male figure to be part of it. There's definitely been those nights, where I'm hugging my pillow tight to, imagining there's someone there to hug me back. And, it's not like, I have super low self esteem or anything. I just need someone there, and share a relationship with. Also, I don't understand why I can't get guys. I mean, most likely, it's cause of my weight, but personally, I think I'm really pretty for a chubby girl. Maybe, some guys who see me, may think I am pretty, but it's my weight that's stopping them for thinking I'm attractive, you know? It's sad, but my day and guy would come along. I know it will.

Ugh.

Okay. I'm gonna finish this probably like, in a thousand days. Haha.

Peace. <3

G.N.O., drowning, and cute boys... oh my!

Sooo, what's new? (; I know I haven't update this in a long time, but it was because I was focusing on school and shiz. And, like, laziness, apparently. Haha. I don't know where to start, cause I don't remember the last time I updated this, but whatever. I'll just go on with what I know from the top of my head.

Like, last week, I went to Target and threw a bitch fit cause my mom told me she was gonna buy me an iPod Touch, but she ended up saying she'll get it for me on Christmas instead. I was soo mad. Not really cause I didn't get my iPod, but she lied. Eh. Whatevs.

Hmmm, let me think of some other things. Oh yeah! There's a really cute guy that takes my bus and his name is Jay. :] He's sooo cute! I mean, I always thought he was cute, but I didn't really completely realized it till now. He has curly hair, and plays basketball. And, that means he's an athlete. And in my point of view, all athletes are fucking dicks, so I'm not taking it any further than just a crush with this one. (:

I went to Del Amo Mall like, last Sunday, and I bought Helen this Twilight key chain thing, with Edward Cullen on it. I was so proud of myself for buying it for her. Lol. I usually don't really spend my money on other people, cause I'm selfish like that, but where I bought it, which was this AMAZING gift store called Aahs, there was a HUUUUUUGE Twilight section, and I couldn't resist not buying Helen anything, cause she's so into it.

Okay, let's talk about school. I'm doing well, I think. OMG! As of November 13th, today, (it's Friday the 13th!) I faced my fears today(: We're swimming in PE, and a part of our finals, was to swim to the deep end. I was TERRIFIED. Like, my heart was beating so fast, and I was a nervous wreck. Lol. But at the same time, I was really excited. So, one part we had to do was, swim from the shallow end to the deep end. And, as I was on the edge of the shallow end, my heart was beating sooo fast. Like, I was nervous. Then, when Mr. Frederickson cued me to go, I just pushed in, didn't think about the water, and just swam, and sure enough I made it. :) The next part, was to test if we can jump in the deep end, and come back to the surface calm and relaxed. Again, I was even more terrified. The thought of just jumping in really deep water scares the living hell out of me. I honestly thought I was never gonna come up to surface if I jumped in. But when I did, it was really cool. Like, it wasn't really scary. I just jumped, I sank, rose up the surface calmly. It was all fun, but the hardest part for me, was the part where as you get to the surface and you have to start swimming. That was hard for me, but eventually I got through with it, and it was fun. (: The other part to the finals was, jumping from the FREAKING DIVING BOARD!, and then rising up to surface and swimming to the shallow end. I was so terrified, again. I had Susan do it first, cause I just wasn't exactly ready to that, and when I saw her did it, I was thinking, 'Okay, I can do this'. Alright, so I'm walking on the diving board, and as I get closer and closer to the end, it starts wobbling, like crazy. I was soo freaking scared! Then I look over to the other teacher, and then I look at Carlos, and he gives me a thumbs up. Lol. So, I felt confident for that, then after Susan swam over to the shallow end, it was my turn. I jumped, splashed into the pool, and it was just like the jumping test, just that I sank lower. Then, I swam up to surface, and swam away. I was so proud of myself! Then, when me and Susan was in the shallow end, Mr. Frederickson says, 'Good job, Ms. San!'. And that made me feel even better! Today was a good PE day. I'm kinda sad that today is the last swimming day, cause the few last days of swimming, was when I started to really enjoy it. But, now, we have to do regular PE. :p

Omg! The movie Precious is out, and we're watching it tomorrow!! Me, Lisa, Frida, Helen, and possibly Dina, that is! I can't wait! :D I love girls night outs. It's always so much fun. (: My mom gave me 30 bucks, so we'll have some extra money for like, food and stuff. I want Dina to take my dad's car. That would be fucking HILARIOUS! :] Dina driving a big fat van that looks like a killer whale. Lmaooo. Whoo, planning that was hard, though. We had to get everything right. First, with Lisa, then Linda, then ask money from my mom, then now my dad. Jeez, it was hard work, but I don't want no drama on my girls night out! And I'm sure everyone else doesn't want to either. :)

Okay. I'm getting tired. This was a long blog.

Sorry.

Ttyl.

Peace. <3

Love the Devil that's in your smile.

Hi. Wednesday was a GREAT-TASTIC day! Like, for real. Okay, I'm gonna write about it now. :)

So, my day started off as usual. When I got to school, I was like, all jittery and stuff with Jess. It was the weirdest thing ever. Lol. I was scaring myself. But in a funny way. Art class was fun too. I drew a skeleton, and the theme was an 80's rock fanatic which died at a really young age due to an over dose. It was awesome. I didn't name the skeleton, but it was a she, although she kinda looks like a guy. Haha. Well, back in the 80's, you sometimes couldn't tell a guy from a girl apart. Anyway, P.E. was really fun. I swam, and my trick to not be negative about swimming is, laugh at everything and be silly when you're in the pool. It helps! Sounds really weird, but it works for me. Then, I eventually start to enjoy myself and have a great time. Lunch was fun too. Everyone thought that Bernardino had a crush on Toni, but he then tells me he doesn't like her. He was like all chill about it too. So, of course I believe him. :) I was all happy to like, hook them up too! Lol. Oh well. I think Toni liked Bernardino, cause she was kinda all bashful and blushing when she was near him. And, so History class was okay. It's never really fun in that class. Then I went home, etc.

So I get home, and I see Linda's car there, and when I get inside the house, Frida and Kaylyn was there. I was soo happy! Cause I miss Kay so bad! (: She was all happy to see me too. Lol. She started running around and stuff then she jumped into my arm. Here's the thing, when me and Kaylyn first see each other, we're best friends, but as soon as the day goes on, and she gets brattier, we're enemies. Haha!

Then, Frida tells me we were gonna go to the bank cause she was trying to open up her own bank account. So, we get to the bank, and we waited for like, 30 minutes at the most. Then this man comes out, and he asks Frida all these questions, blah, blah, blah. In the end, Frida couldn't get her own account, so we went to Target. Btw, the whole time, I was STARVING! I was soo hungry, cause I didn't even have time to eat, cause right when I came home, Frida said we're going to the bank. Anyway, we get to Target, and look at all the clothes, shoes, etc. Man, I love Target! Like, for real. That place is awesome. Cute ass clothes and shoes, and just the best things ever. Unlike dumbass Wal-Mart. LOL! Anyway, while we were at the shoe aisle, I suggested we stay for a while and 'absorb' Target. Like, really take our time, and look through everything, cause it seems like, every time we go there, we always seem like we're in a freaking rush or something. Oh! I forgot to say, Linda had an interview this day, and she was wearing heels, and it was hurting her feet, so she walked barefoot around Target this whole time. :) LMFAO. Anyway, when we were in the toy aisle, I saw this Twilight: New Moon Board Game, and I instantly thought of Helen. I'm soo getting her that for Christmas. The girl is HOOKED onto Twilight. Lol. I created a monster when I showed her the movie! Now every time she sees that commercial for that one car with Robert Pattinson on it, she goes nuts. She's gonna become one of those crazy Twilight FANS!!! NOOO!! Oh well. (: I'll just let her be. Oh, and while I was looking at the board game, Kay somehow fell and she was all crying and stuff. Later, we went to the Electronics aisle, and I saw the iTouch, and I can NOT wait to get it. (: My mom says we're gonna go to Target on Saturday. I hope that means she's gonna get me the iTouch! :D :D :D

OKAY. Back on track. So, after looking around and stuff, we left. Then, I realized I was still hungry after eating popcorn and a slushee Frida bought for me, and I suggested we go to Linda's house, cause I heard she made tacos, and I was in the mood for some tacos! :) So, we went home, to pick up Helen, then we went to Linda's house. It was fun there. I helped cook the tacos, etc. We stayed there from like, 4:30 to 9 at night. That night was fun!

Then Frida had to leave at 10, so they dropped me off at home, and Helen, and Dina went to drop Frida and Kay off. Dina didn't want me to go, cause she said I'm annoying in the car, and she doesn't wanna stay with me while riding home. Haha! Bitch. :) Anyway, so that kinda wraps this whole story up. I know I rambled and went off topic alot, but I'm tired, and I'm gonna go to bed now.

Good night. <3

Halloween!

Omg. Halloween last night was so fun! I was myself, just from the 80's. And, okay, well, I'll just start from the beginning of the story.

So, on Saturday, I woke up happy. =) For the past like, 3 years, I haven't been excited about Halloween until this year. Maybe it was cause I knew my costume was gonna be cute. Ha. Anyway, so fast forward to when I'm in the downstairs room with my mom and Helen. Helen freaking told me she didn't want to go, because she doesn't have a costume. So, I'm like, trying my hardest to persuade her to go, but it didn't seem to work. Then we went in my room where we watched Twilight and I really persuaded Helen to come trick or treating with us. She said she still didn't know what to be. So, I suggested she be Bella Swan, since I got her hooked onto Twilight. She said no, and I kinda gave up. And what was weird, was that, in the back of my mind I knew she was gonna go, and she was gonna be some type of girl from the 70's, because Helen went through a little phase in the past where she wanted to dress boho-hippie type. And, when I was at Goodwill on Monday last week, I saw all these 70's clothes, and I instantly thought of Helen. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that, I knew Helen was gonna be something from the 70's era.

Anyway, Helen asked my mom for money so we can go find a costume for her, and my mom gave us 20 bucks. Intentionally, the money was for Helen alone, but her knowing that I needed a few more pieces to my costume, she split it in half. :) That was nice of her, but I think she split it in half, cause she didn't have the spirit to go costume shopping. Ha. So, what I needed was leg warmers, tights (since I couldn't find mine), big, bold, colorful, cheap plastic jewelry and maybe a few small clip on colorful hair extensions.

Linda came to pick us up with George, and we were supposed to go to this Halloween store, but they didn't put one up this year. So, I suggested we go to the 99 cents only store. =) I haven't been there in a while, and sometimes, you can find some good stuff, and EVERYTHING is a dollar in that store! It's quite awesome. Lmaoo.

So we get there, and omg. They had everything I needed! I found tights, a gold belt, blue and green eyeliner, crazy bright hot pink blush and cheap gold jewelry. It was awesome! I didn't think that I would find everything I needed there. But, yeah. And I spent only like 8 bucks! I felt cool. Lol. And, Helen didn't find anything. So we went to Goodwill, cause I suggested she be a hippie or something. Then when we get there, we looked through the dresses, and she tried on a few, and none was right until I found this one dress. It was perfect! I don't know how to explain it, but it's beautiful. It fit Helen so well. And, when she tried it on, I was like, 'That's it! You're gonna be a little girl from the 70's!'. And it was just perfect for her. So, after finding the dress, we just looked around the store, and yeah. Helen payed for the dress, (which was like, 3 bucks!!) and we went home.

I wanted to take my camera with me, so I had to IM Sina about it to give it to me, and then I had to walk over to her house, and I got it, etc. Then I rushed home, cause it was around like 5 o' clock, and we were leaving at 7. I was running up and down the stairs, rushing through everything. Lol. I felt like I needed to do everything in lightning speed, cause I thought I wouldn't have time to do my hair and makeup. And on top of that, I had to do Channa's makeup. So I felt the need to rush even MORE. But, in the end all went perfect, and everyone came out looking wonderful. Helen looked so darling, and Channa's makeup was pretty. And me, omg! Okay, well, I'm not gonna show a full body picture of myself, but here's what my makeup look like:

Not the best picture, but whatever. Haha. I wanted to see my nephews, so Helen called Dina to

come, but she didn't, so we left at like, around 7:30. Anyway, we went to North Long Beach to go

trick or treating. Trick or treating was just normal, but fun. Until we went to this one house, where

Helen freaking fell! She hurt herself bad, then she wanted to go home. She been wanting to go

home ever since we started going house to house, so she really wanted to go home now. Then we

told Linda we were done, and I think she kinda got mad at us, cause I guess she wanted us to keep

trick or treating. But, I was getting tired myself, and we ended up going to Subway afterward.

We ate, talked, shared candy, etc.

And that pretty much kinda wraps up my Halloween night. =) I know I left a lot of things out, but whatever,

I'm getting tired of typing. Haha.

Okay, toodles!